The Grand Design

With any unfortunate incident - first comes denial, then comes anger.
Then come depression and lots of tears.
Which clears the deck for understanding to dawn on.

I was thinking today - what if I looked for the grand design of things?
What if the accident hurting my back was not meant as a lesson to me for all of my vices and sins? What if it's God's way of preventing future turmoil.
I might not have made a good mother or something might have happened to my kid(if I had one).
Perhaps God is trying to prevent some more unfortunate event by making me suffer.
And I could bring a semblance of sanity to my raving mind.

Let me just live my life (now altered). And see where that takes me.